More than seeing this ‘poster’ going viral, what irked me more was, the number of likes and supportive comments that it received. Just the morning after I celebrated my 26th birthday, I saw a photograph on my Facebook timeline that said:
“ 90% Mamlon mein yahi kaaran hai- Jo Beti Apne Peehar Ke Sampark Mein Zyada Rehti Hai Aur Peehar Ka Moh Rakhti Hai, Vah Apne Sasural Mein Sukhi Nahi Rah Sakti.”
“In 90% of the cases, the problem is- The daughter who continues to stay in touch with her parents even after her marriage, or who doesn’t cut chords with her family, shall never be happy in her in-laws’ home.”
Before I could even disregard this rubbish piece being propagated and move on to see something worth looking at on my timeline, I got a glimpse of some comments over this photo, which read:
#1. “100% true or else why would God make this tradition of wife moving away from her parents and not the other way round?”
#2. “Beti to Nadan hai, Maa Baap ko Galat Siksha se dur rakhna chahiye. Sasural mein zyada ghul mil kar rahna chahiye”
And, you’ll be surprised to know that these comments were posted by women.
To both these women and to the 2.2k people who liked this photo and over 18.7 k people, who shared this photo:
First of all, God didn’t make this tradition; it’s the society that enforced rules, which seemed fit to them. Secondly, ‘Maa Baap’ (parents) that of the girl or the boy, should insist on their kids to equally love and respect both the families.
It’s ironic because we are born in a country, where Sita had the right to choose her own life partner through a Swayamvar (I’m sure her parents or her love for them, wasn’t the reason for all the pain that she endured throughout her life.)
And, Draupadi who willingly accepted her 5 husbands (who eventually mortgaged her dignity for a silly game) and got her dignity shred into pieces in front of her in-laws, who didn’t even try saving her.
Being a 27-yr-old, unmarried girl, surrounded by a family to-die-for and friends to-kill-for; I would rather wait for a man, who would not ask me to choose between my parents and his and would, in fact, love my parents, just like would do his.
I outrightly, call the maker of this poster a ‘shit’, because I refuse to cut my chords with my mother, who selflessly bore me inside of her for up to 9 months and my father, who tirelessly worked round the clock to give me the strength and education to face the world and my sibling, who stood there shielding me at the drop of the hat.
And, would continue to seek their love and advice, to help me support and adjust to my new life, my new parents and my husband. I refuse to let go of my love and respect for them. I would not be biased to my parents and that of my husband’s, I would rather be blessed to have two sets of parents with double the love and blessings; with more siblings to love and fight with.
If I have to wait too long to find a man (and a family, who accept me on this condition), then it’s not me, but the society at fault, who had failed to raise a son, with these basic values. And, if things like this ‘poster’ go viral, then it clearly shows what’s wrong with the society.
Instead of spreading such malignity within society, we should rather ensure teaching both men and women, about the moral value of their sacred bond – “To love and respecting each other’s parents and family with equality.”